focus. eyes on Him.

"Yet I Sin"

2012-01-23T11:05:00.000-08:00

From The Valley of Vision

Eternal Father,

Thou art good beyond all thought,

But I am vile, wretched, miserable, blind;

My lips are ready to confess, but my heart is slow to feel,

and my ways reluctant to amend

I bring my soul to thee;

break it, wound it, bend it, mould it.

Unmask to me sin's deformity,

that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it.

My faculties have been a weapon of revolt against thee;

as a rebel I have misused my strength,

and served the foul adversary of thy kingdom.

Give me grace to bewail my insensate folly,

Grant me to know that the way of transgressors is hard,

that evil paths are wretched paths,

that to depart from thee is to lose all good.

I have seen the purity and beauty of thy perfect law,

the happiness of those in whose heart it reigns,

the calm dignity of the walk to which it calls,

yet I daily violate and contemn its precepts.

Thy loving Spirits strives within me,

brings me Scripture warnings,

speaks in startling whispers,

yet I choose devices and desires to my own hurt,

impiously resent, grieve, and provoke him to abandon me

All these sins I mourn, lament, and for them cry pardon.

Work in me more profound and abiding repentance;

Give me the fullness of a godly grief that trembles and fears,

yet ever trusts and loves,

which is ever powerful, and ever confident;

Grant that through the tears of repentance I may see more clearly

the brightness and glories of the saving cross.

living

2011-12-28T23:32:00.001-08:00

People who live for tomorrow die wishing. People who live for yesterday die discouraged. People who live for today have no regrets for they are living the very moment.

-Joni Eareckson Tada

forgiven little?

2011-12-22T15:32:00.000-08:00

For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.

Luke 7:47

post-it #9 (final post-it)

2011-11-16T08:58:00.001-08:00

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ." -Philippians 1:6

post-it #8

2011-11-16T08:56:00.000-08:00

"The great design of God's way of salvation is to magnify His glory and bring down human pride." -John Piper

post-it #7

2011-11-12T14:42:00.000-08:00

"Most assuredly, if I had merely served man, this would have been a poor recompense; but it is my happiness that I have served Him who never fails to reward his servants to the full extent of His promise." -John Calvin

Practicing Affirmation

2011-11-09T10:05:00.000-08:00

I'm reading through Practicing Affirmaiton by Sam Crabtree. He reminds us to make affirmation in such a way where God is glorified. Be thankful for people but to God. I'm kind of simplifying what he says. Loving and giving is easily done with expectations, wanting some sort of reward or reciprocation. But there's more joy when they're done without expectations. This gave light to the way I try speak encouraging things. Pretty straight forward.

What is flattery? Like other corruptions, it starts out rooted in a good thing, but ends up putting a corrupt twist on that good thing. For example, fornication puts a corrupt twist on the God-given desire to express intimacy sexually. Gluttony puts a corrupt twist on the God-given practice of eating, which can be a wholesome interaction between stomachs and food, both given by God as good things. Gossip takes God-given things like truth and speech and puts a corrupt twist on them so that they become meddlesome and defaming. Similarly, affirmation is good, but flattery puts a corrupt twist on it. In order to avoid folly and corruption, how shall we distinguish flattery from affirmation? While affirmation commends virtues, flattery exaggerates them, glosses over flaws, offers excessive input, and is insincere, not chiefly interested in building up the recipient in Christlikeness, but interested chiefly in obtaining some kind of direct favor. Healthy affirmation does not exaggerate or schmooze. Having affirmed, the affirmer can walk away with no expectation of receiving anything from the recipient. A good affirmer, just as the giver of a cup of cold water, looks to God for his reward. In contrast, there is a thread of seduction in flattery. The flatterer is after something from the flattered. While affirmation is a free gift with no strings attached and trusts God to bring about whatever good harvest he wishes to bring from the seed planted, flattery is a bribe, and a direct return is expected—soon. Godly affirmation approves of Christlikeness and disapproves of anything contrary, whereas the flatterer approves anything—Christlike or not—that may achieve the desired response.

post-it #5 and 6

2011-11-08T23:59:00.001-08:00

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled."

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

Matthew 5:6, 8

post-it #4

2011-11-06T22:07:00.000-08:00

"Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh..." -Ezekiel 36:26-27

post-it #3

2011-11-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

"We accept and thank God for what is given, not allowing the 'not given' to spoil it." -Elisabeth Elliot

post-it #2

2011-11-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

"My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace, nor even blessing, but Himself, my God." -Oswald Chambers

post-its

2011-10-31T10:03:00.000-07:00

Post-its is such a great invention. I've used it for reminders, write letters, kill bugs, stick on people, etc. The first journal I got was from my sister and in it she stuck post-its and wrote little encouragements through my journey in my journal. I wish I kept those post-its. But someone else did a similar thing too in a journal she gave me a couple years ago. I remembered to keep these. On them are quotes and verses.

Post-it #1:

"Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created." -Revelations 4:11

a sweet reminder

2011-10-22T19:28:00.001-07:00

See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we would be called children of God and such we are.

1 John 3:1

simply to love

2011-10-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

"One of the lessons Jim felt that he his "renaissance" experience had taught him was expressed in a later letter to me:

'One of my renaissance experiences was to get among kids who were on a different spiritual level than my own, and enjoy fellowship with them. I found a very subtle snare in so doing. I sought their fellowship in order that I might minister to them, 'be a help,' you know, to the 'weaker' ones. What a rebuke came when I sensed my real motive - that I might minister. Love hacks right at this, for she refused to parade herself. I learned to recognize no 'spiritual planes,' but simply to love, purely, in every group. Trying to 'be a help' even has a smell of good works in it, for it is not pure. Our motive is only to be - do nothing, know nothing, act nothing - just to be a sinful bit of flesh, born of a Father's love.'"

-Shadow of the Almighty

in the secret of His presence

2011-09-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

In the secret of His presence
How my soul delights to hide!
Oh, how precious are the lessons
Which I learn at Jesus’ side!
Earthly cares forever vex me,
all my trials lay me low;
But when Satan comes to tempt me,
To the secret place I go.

When my soul is faint and thirsty,
‘Neath the shadow of His wing
There is cool and pleasant shelter,
And a fresh and crystal spring;
And my Savior rests beside me,
As we hold communion sweet;
If I tried, I could not utter
What He says when thus we meet.

Only this I know: I tell Him
All my doubts and griefs and fears;
Oh, how patiently He listens!
And my drooping soul He cheers;
Do you think He ne’er reproves me?
What a false friend He would be,
If He never, never told me
Of the sins which He must see.

Would you like to know that sweetness
Of the secret of the Lord?
Go and hide beneath His shadow;
This shall then be your reward;
And whene’er you leave the silence
Of that happy meeting-place,
By the Spirit bear the image
Of the Master in your face.

http://grooveshark.com/#/search?q=in+the+secret+of+his+presence

sung by Sandra McCracken
by Ellen Goreh

Total Devotion

2011-09-06T18:27:00.000-07:00

Total Devotion was the name of my youth fellowship back during high school, but we always just called it TD. I had forgotten that it stood for "total devotion". I'm thankful for that reminder that life isn't about "kinda devotion", "sometimes devotion", but "total devotion". But I know that as long as I am still on earth, I won't be. This makes me long for heaven. How wonderful would it be to be totally devoted to my God - all my affections, cares, service, worship, my entire being

But much of my devotion, enjoyment, pleasure are towards things, entertainment, myself, people... apart from the Lord. Yet, God says to delight in Him, do all things for His glory, proclaim the good news, and love Him. He wants a totally devoted life.

pray and wait

2011-07-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

Someone showed me this quote. I think this goes along with prayer, that we pray and wait expectantly. The waiting for an answer is just as important as how the Lord answers. How do you wait on the Lord? Such as a missionary preparing himself for the mission field and if he dies soon after like Jim Elliot, was it a waste? The process of it was still what God desired. More and more difficulties are welcomed because God will shape us in ways we never thought would happen, and somehow our prayers are answered.

"But waiting on God isn't like this at all. Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what he's promised. Through the wait he's changing me. By means of the wait he's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait he's causing me to see and experience new things about him and his kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in his redemptive hands." -Paul Tripp

heart of a praying life

2011-07-06T19:06:00.000-07:00

"Learned desperation is at the heart of a praying life."

- Paul Miller, A Praying Life

2011-05-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

thankful that i got to end my college years like this =) plus we got to go to california academy of science for freeee. i like it when things are free.

2011-05-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

The Lord has brought me thus far, and though my life seems quite ordinary, I believe one thing God has shaped me more through these past years is how to think. As we learned in ET2 (apologetics), we are to love the Lord not just with all our hearts, but also with all of our mind.
I am so glad that through struggles, He has given me a mind to understand His ways and softened my heart. People come and go in our lives, we go in and out of people's lives. I very much disliked that at first. Sometimes I still whine about that. We seek to love and be loved. Yet through this the Lord has revealed more of His faithfulness. Although people do come and go, God remains. We still are able to love and be loved, but this is from God and not from people. God uses different people at different times to reveal Himself. Who is greater?

i'll never forsake you

2011-05-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

These simple lyrics, someone says, "'packages' so well promises that the Lord has for us in His Word".

O soul, are you weary from wave upon wave
Of grief and affliction whom no man can save?
Has sickness surrounded, or unending night?
Uncertainty stolen your joy and your might?

O doubting, o fearful– remember His care,
The helpless and hopeless need never despair
For from your afflictions His glory shall spring–
The deeper your sorrow, the louder you’ll sing!
Remember your Father– His promise, His love:

Chorus:
“I’ll never forsake you, this pain will not break you,
For I will remake you for unending joy;
My promise is faithful though now it is painful;
No power can trample my covenant love.”

Remember your Savior– His grief and His pain,
The lonely affliction, unmerited shame.
Though you had betrayed Him, He died in your place;
The joy set before Him He offers by grace.
Remember your Father– His promise, His love:
by David Ward

http://www.reformedpraise.org/songs/modernhymns/ill-never-forsake-you/

ebcb 2011

2011-05-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

i am blessed

four years already?? surely God has been faithful to us

the accomplishment of atonement

2011-04-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'm reading Seven Sayings of the Saviour on the Cross again and it's still so good. I guess a repeated theme for this past semester or year is the victory I can and do have in Christ despite my struggles, failures, and anxieties. I tend to compare myself in all areas spiritually, emotionally, intellectually... I'm like a little weakling. (oh and for sure physically I'm quiteeeee weak too...)

But this is what Arthur Pink says.

"It is finished." What was finished? The work of atonement. What is the value of that to us? This: to the sinner, it is a message of glad tidings. All that a holy God requires has been done. Nothing is left for the sinner to add. No works from us are demanded as the price of our salvation. All that is necessary for the sinner is to rest now by faith upon what Christ did. "The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Rom. 6:23). To the believer, the knowledge that the atoning work of Christ is finished brings a sweet relief over against all the defects and imperfections of his services. There is much of sin and vanity in the very best of our efforts, but the grand relief is that we are "complete" in Christ (Col. 2:10)! Christ and his finished work is the ground of all our hopes.
Upon a Life I did not live,
Upon a Death I did not die,
Another’s death Another’s life
I cast my soul eternally
Bold shall I stand in that great day,
For who, aught to my charge can lay?
Fully absolved by Christ I am,
From sin’s tremendous curse and blame.

Maybe we're all weaklings. haha

praise God for His finished work on the cross

rejoice!

2011-04-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Think about the disciples during the time of Jesus' death. It must've been confusing and saddening when he died. But His resurrection was a sign of victory. He is the Savior. Their hearts must have been beating fast. Their hearts of doubt became hearts of rejoicing. Then Jesus commands them to spread the news of Himself, they must have been ecstatic and eager to tell the world about Him.
What if that happened today? Do I feel the same? Do I get ecstatic for the hope I know is good news? Does it feel like Christ ascended yesterday and is alive in my heart? It makes me think differently about homework, studies, papers as I am a student right now. Do I just do it to get it done? Is it for the temporal satisfaction or for the furthering of God's kingdom?

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice!
Philippians 4:4

not doubting His love when i sin

2011-03-05T13:01:00.000-08:00

For a Q&A session with the youth group, one of the teachers answered the question on why Christians feel an internal struggle between knowing and doing what is right. As he went over why sin still exists in the life of a believer, it melted my heart. When I sin, when I struggle with it, I doubt God's love. Why would God keep me in the state of frustration? Can't He just make me overcome sin quickly? But we learned that possibly it is to humble us, make us thankful, cultivate compassion, look to Jesus, long for heaven... God does love us. He doesn't love me less because I sin. The gospel is the best and only remedy. I want to be "good", "mature", "holy", but if I want to fight my impatience by being patient, my bitterness by being not bitter, I will surely fail.
God wants me to look to Christ.

Desperate

2011-02-16T11:07:00.000-08:00

I believe

God, Maker of heaven and earth

Has demanded perfection

Yet I am worlds away from that

How can the Holy One find favor in me?

He makes no mistakes

He is all powerful

I am unworthy

I am weak

Such foolishness losing sight of what is true

Looking at myself at pleasures of the world

His goodness and His faithfulness I forget

I try hard to do what is right

But all my attempts are futile

I run here and there

I beat my chest in anguish

Where is my hope?

Who will set me free?

My soul is in need of a savior

Look to Christ

Look at what He has already done

I am no longer bounded by sin and its power

No longer dead, no longer condemned

From children of wrath to heirs with Christ

He has set me free

In Christ we have life and victory

My soul clings to Christ

I cling to Christ

Rejoice for what was lost has been found

Mercy and grace God has shown upon sinners

I rejoice

"prayer"

2011-02-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

Prayer by Simri Davis, Jeff Berry

Thou hast said to walk on water

But I stumble in the sand

Oh, to run and not grow weary

Jesus come and hold my hand

Promise me Thou won’t forsake me

For my life depends on Thee

Engrave it on my heart reminding

That Your truth has set me free

For I believe, yes I believe

Please help my unbelief

For I believe, yes I believe

Oh Lord,

Please help my unbelief

Thou art great and full of light

That no eye can yet unpeel

Please give to me only through your might

A heart that longs to kneel

what are your affections being spent on

2011-01-04T11:08:00.000-08:00

"The question is what are your affections being spent on. All of us use our affections, inclinations, aspirations. We use them in one of three ways - lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life. You will use your affections to get something, to want something which you will never satisfy you. Nothing you ever bought has satisfied you nor will it... The lust of the flesh does not satisfy you. Person after person who has fallen in immorality and wants the experience of immorality... it didn't cure it, it only made it worse. Pride of life. You can orient your life to get everyone around you to appreciate anything about you and all that will do is feel a greater desire to be appreciated by others. These affections were meant for Jesus. He's perfectly revealed Himself tons to match His glory, His revelation, and our affections in a perfect faith and when that happens He discloses Himself to us and you begin to see, "wow what a savior." You begin to sing in ways you've never sung before. The words are dancing on your soul as you sing them. People are trying to talk to you when you are singing and you just say "please leave me alone!" Why would not everyone join in the worship Jesus from the affections. It's not that Jesus lack any excellence or attractiveness or beauty, but because they are blind to His excellence, deaf to His word, even dead to His spirit. Taste and see the Lord is good."

Rick Holland Resolved 2010 "Experiencing Christ"

"Seeing Jesus with the Shepherds"

2010-12-25T12:26:00.000-08:00

"Imagine you are a shepherd on the hillside, and when the heavenly host appears you are not to be afraid; you are to have joy. It is the same with all the teaching of the gospel that flows from the event when the shepherds saw and heard the angels, when they ran down the hill and looked upon Jesus. This is the difference it makes in our lives. 'And they worshiped him... with great joy.'"

-Francis Schaeffer

Some Christmas Prose

2010-12-10T00:17:00.000-08:00

Lights, gifts, and trees mark the Christmas season;
All of this can easily blur one's sight,
Keeping one from Jesus, the real reason
Behind the holiday hype, the True Light!

Dear friend, I hope at the end of this year
You can come before the Christ Child in awe,
Thankful for Immanuel, God so near,
The royal One upon a manger's straw.

Let's thank the LORD for coming so, so close!
He changed our hard hearts of stone into flesh,
Moving and stirring us to song and prose,
Glory, honor, and praise to give afresh!

-Eunice Im

one day

2010-12-03T00:08:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, Beatrice went to be with the Lord at the age of 95. It's interesting when people pass away and I think about death... the reality of it. It seems far away, but it can happen anytime and to anyone and it will happen to everyone.

Even after many years, she was still striving to fight sin, love others, know God. When I think about how... Beatrice is no longer constrained in her feeble body, but fellowshipping with God so intimately, rejoicing, I don't know how to describe it but I'm speechless... joyful, have warm fuzzies, thankful.

I will be there one day, one day in paradise in perfect fellowship with God.

This was one song she knew from memory and would sing:
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind but now I see

i asked the Lord

2010-11-19T00:29:00.000-08:00

I Asked The Lord by John Newton

1. I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face

2. Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair

3. I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest

4. Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part

5. Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low

6. Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

7. "These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me,
That thou mayest seek thy all in me."

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/I+Asked+the+Lord/ZdKSL

"Well done, good and faithful slave"

2010-11-11T23:54:00.000-08:00

Is it more important to be faithful or successful?

Do I worry more about my inabilities that I waste my abilities?

Am I a "wicked, lazy slave"? (Matthew 25:14-30)

I pray that your love may abound still more and more

2010-10-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

Something I've been constantly reminded of and rebuked as I've quoted before 2 Corinthians 5:14, is how to love. We love so imperfectly, but am I even striving to love in the right way? Scripture says many times to love one another and especially in light of God's love. What do I seek for others? For them to see that I love them or to see that God loves them? Usually the former... probably. It makes sense why we feel offended when they don't see our love rather than sadness that they don't see God's love. We want the glory. But it is much more delightful for others to see God's love because His love is great, beautiful, enduring, pure, lovely, powerful.
So is it better to desire for people whether believers or not to see God's love for them? And that includes even while doing little mundane things that I'm not self-seeking?

The apostle Paul begins many of his letters with thanksgiving and hope for the churches: "For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this I pray, that your love my abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:8-11

wait

2010-09-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

A friend said to me, "Isn't it funny how we ask God for patience, and we want it now?!"
I've been learning about patience and I'll leave this to you.

"The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
   To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
   For the salvation of the LORD."
   Lamentations 3:25-26

"Wait" by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said,
"Child, you must wait."
"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'Yes,' a go-ahead sign,
Or even a "No' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And, Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
'I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause the mountains to run.

"All you seek, I could give you, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want--
But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

"You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you!

"So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, 'Wait.'"

Yet I will exult in the Lord

2010-09-15T00:39:00.000-07:00

Though the fig tree should not blossom
   And there be no fruit on the vines,
   Though the yield of the olive should fail
   And the fields produce no food,
   Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
   And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the LORD,
   I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

Habakkuk 3:17-18

God's kingdom

2010-09-06T21:05:00.000-07:00

Was cleaning out my desk and stuff... and then I found my journal from freshmen year. I journaled that a brother prayed that we are not here for success or to build memories, but for God's kingdom. How I easily forget.

"The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field." Matthew 13:44

'When God’s present kingdom consumes and saturates my entire life, that is how I am effective and will make a difference. It comes down to where every word, every thought, every action, and my entire being are to His glory, wherever He places me and whatever He puts me through for His matchless, invaluable kingdom.'

watch over your heart

2010-08-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." -Proverbs 4:23

The flesh is weak, the spirit is willing. Self-control, submission, trust in the Lord. We tell ourselves lies of temporary "pleasures" that weakens and dries the soul. The desires of the flesh can seem so subtle, but it may eat us up and we forget the Lord. That is why we always need to be on guard; there is no break from spiritual discipline. Lord, help us.

"You'll never amount to anything and you'll never accomplish anything of significance unless you learn habitually to do those things you don't like to do. You won't move ahead in life by letting it all hang out, by just doing what feels good in the moment, by following your passions. You only really make an impact in life by saying "no" to pleasurable but empty things and saying "yes" to the good things that may not be pleasant in the moment. And it is a sign of maturity to be able to do that, by the way. It's the sign of a mature Christian to say no to the short term pleasure in order to reap the long term good."

J.P. Moreland

blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord

2010-08-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD
And whose trust is the LORD.
For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8

"My goal is God himself, not joy nor peace, nor even blessing, but Himself, my God." -Oswald Chambers

Christ and His church

2010-08-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

Simply put, marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ and His church. All the other blessings in weddings, marriage are so small or maybe even nothing compared to this picture. This truth is accepted by believers (hopefully) but to love it, embrace it, value it does not come quickly.
I loved weddings ever since I was small. First because I loved being with all my cousins when a relative would get married. Then I loved weddings of people from church just because my friends were there as well. I just enjoyed the environment of weddings. Now seeing how couples aim to glorify God with their marriage, aim to be selfless and to serve, to diminish themselves so Christ can be lived out in their lives, to point each other to Christ - for the wife to submit to the husband, and the husband to lead and sacrifice for his wife - is very different than how I saw it before.
The book of Hosea speaks of how God loves His people, people who are like prostitutes. He pursues and loves and protects. Christ sanctifies His bride, He cleanses her, nourishes her, cherishes her (Eph 5)... He died for her. How wonderful of a husband Christ is to His church.

(not sure if to relate God's promises to Israel the same to the church, but still reveals the character of God)
"I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord." Hosea 2:19-20

"The graciousness of uncertainty"

2010-07-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

one of my favorites from Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest"

He quotes 1 John 3:2b but I like both verses one and two:
See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere. Common sense says - "Well, supposing I were in that condition..." We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in.
Certainty is the mark of common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said, "Except ye... become as little children." Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.
"Believe also in Me," said Jesus, not - "Believe certain things about Me." Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him.

why be holy?

2010-07-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

I know in this Christian walk we will be sanctified. We are to strive towards holiness and godliness. We are to be like Christ. We are to love, to fight sin, to trust in God, to be a light in the world, etc. But why? I don't know why I asked the "why" question because I know that these are fruits of a believer. We were created to worship and do good works. I sound like I don't believe because I ask the why question. Thinking about it more, it cannot be merely because it's fruit of a Christian or even because we will be rewarded. Then I was reminded that it's because.... God loves me. Somehow it makes sense. His love controls me. (2 Cor 5:14)

But God being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)
Ephesians 2:4-5

"My ways are higher"

2010-06-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

"How are you?"
"I'm fine"
"Why aren't you... fantastic??"
"Because I'm a sinner and live in a sinful world."

That is true and that is how I feel very often... not fantastic. I see my shortcomings, sins, but also especially the world not spinning the way I want it to. What I want or my will is very often not the way God wants or wills for my life. I hold on tightly to my desires that do not align with God's. God will always have His way. =/

But then I realize that His ways are higher than my ways. His ways are better than my ways. It takes a lot of discipline and breaking of my pride to realize that if I trust in Him and His ways, I can delight more. I can delight in His goodness, His character, His love, His gifts, His salvation. I can delight in Him.

Isaiah 55

Let us love and sing and wonder

2010-06-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

by John Newton

1. Let us love and sing and wonder
Let us praise the Savior’s name
He has hushed the law’s loud thunder
He has quenched Mount Sinai’s flame
He has washed us with His blood
He has brought us nigh to God

2. Let us love the Lord Who bought us
Pitied us when enemies
Called us by His grace and taught us
Gave us ears and gave us eyes
He has washed us with His blood
He presents our souls to God

3. Let us sing though fierce temptation
Threatens hard to bear us down
For the Lord, our strong salvation,
Holds in view the conqu’ror’s crown
He, Who washed us with His blood,
Soon will bring us home to God

4. Let us wonder grace and justice
Join and point to mercy’s store
When through grace in Christ our trust is
Justice smiles and asks no more
He Who washed us with His blood
Has secured our way to God

5. Let us praise and join the chorus
Of the saints enthroned on high
Here they trusted Him before us
Now their praises fill the sky
Thou hast washed us with Thy blood
Thou art worthy Lamb of God

"I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners"

2010-06-01T23:56:00.000-07:00

What would this look like today?

   Matthew decided to have a banquet to introduce Jesus to his friends. Like most new believers, he wanted to bring everyone he knew to Christ. Luke 5:29 reveals that Matthew (who was also known as Levi) held the banquet in his own house. Jesus was the honored guest. This gathering was attended by some of the most notorious, base, villainous people in the history of banquets. The only people Matthew knew were sordid types, wretched sinners, because no one else would associate with him. The respectable people despised him. His friends were thieves, blasphemers, prostitutes, con artists, swindlers, and other tax collectors - the riffraff of society.
  Supercilious religious types would say, of course, that Jesus shouldn't go to a banquet with such degenerates. That is exactly what the Pharisees thought. But that was not the way of the Savior. Matthew 11:19 indicates that He was known among the people as "a friend of tax-gatherers and sinners." This very banquet probably gave rise to that perception. The Pharisees meant it derisively, but it was nonetheless a fitting title for the Son of Man.
  Matthew 9:10 sets the scene: "It happened that as He was reclining at the table in the house, behold, many tax-gatherers and sinners came and were dining with Jesus and His disciples." This was so scandalous to the self-righteous Pharisees that they could hardly conceal their shock. If he were really the Messiah, they thought, he would be having a dinner for us!

The Gospel According to Jesus by John MacArthur

"It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire compassion, and not sacrifice,' for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Matthew 9:12-13

"God be merciful to me, the sinner"

2010-05-23T23:42:00.000-07:00

Read this many times and each time is convicting.

"Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: 'God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.' But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me, the sinner!' I tell you this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 18:9-14

Sometimes it's just thinking to the self and not even in prayer, like the Pharisee that I am doing something better, different, right compared to another or a standard I make. I give myself a pat on the back unknowingly. Lack of faith, gratitude, humility, and full of self-dependence. Must come before the High King, broken.

beginning to really like the gospels

directions for dealing with sins

2010-05-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

Some ways to deal with sins (from Respectable Sins)
1. apply the Gospel
-remember we are already forgiven
-we are credited Christ's righteousness
2. rely on the Holy Spirit
3. recognize our responsibility; pursue steps for dealing with sins
4. identify specific areas of acceptable sins
5. have scripture to each subtle sin
6. pray over sins we tolerate
7. involve other believers

It's been so helpful to just think about these things and think about why even bother to deal with sin. Dealing with sin just always seems so frustrating, like a forced obligation, undesirable... but no Romans 6 says we are free from the bondage of sin. And the greatest thing isn't just our sanctification but what our sanctification leads to --> seeing and treasuring God even more(!) because sin separates us from God. It's already evident that sin separates people.

What I have given up for Christ

2010-05-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

"I have given up a life of absolute loss, and in return I have received a life of absolute gain."

Christine Winarko

These inward trials

2010-04-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

What is the purpose of grace? Primarily, to restore our relationship with God. When God lays the foundation of this restored relationship, by forgiving our sins as we trust his Son, he does so in order that henceforth we and he may live in fellowship. And what he does in renewing our nature is intended to make us capable of, and actually to lead us into, the exercise of love, trust, delight, hope and obedience Godward - those acts which, from our side, make up the reality of fellowship with God, who is constantly making himself known to us. This is what all the work of grace aims at - an ever deeper knowledge of God, and an ever closer fellowship with him. Grace is God drawing us sinners closer and closer to himself.
How does God in grace prosecute this purpose? Not by shielding us from assault by the world, the flesh and the devil, nor by protecting us from burdensome and frustrating circumstances, nor yet by shielding us from troubles created by our own temperament and psychology; but rather by exposing us to all these things, so as to overwhelm us with a sense of our own inadequacy, and to drive us to cling to him more closely. This is the ultimate reason, from our standpoint, why God fills our lives with troubles and perplexities of one sort and another: it is to ensure that we shall learn to hold him fast. The reason why the Bible spends so much of its time reiterating that God is a strong rock, a firm defense, and a sure refuge and help for the weak, is that God spends so much of his time bringing us home to us that we are weak, both mentally and morally, and dare not trust ourselves to find, or to follow, the right road.
When we walk along a clear road feeling fine, and someone takes our arm to help us, as likely as not we shall impatiently shake him off; but when we are caught in rough country in the dark, with a storm getting up and our strength spent, and someone takes our arm to help us, we shall thankfully lean on him. And God wants us to feel that our way through life is rough and perplexing, so that we may learn thankfully to lean on him. Therefore he takes steps to drive us out of the self-confidence to trust in himself- in the classical scriptural phrase for the secret of the godly life, to "wait on the Lord."

Knowing God by JI Packer

"The glorious excellencies and beauty of God..."

2010-04-14T23:18:00.000-07:00

The glorious excellencies and beauty of God will be what will forever entertain the minds of the saints, and the love of God will be their everlasting feast. The redeemed will indeed enjoy other things; they will enjoy the angels, and will enjoy one another: but that which they shall enjoy in the angels, or each other, or in anything else whatsoever, that will yield then delight and happiness, will be what will be seen of God in them.

Jonathan Edwards

who do I fear?

2010-04-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

I know God is my Father. I know He has adopted me. I know He loves me. But do I think, feel, believe, act, trust as if these are true? Thinking is a good thing, but sometimes too much is quite unnecessary which I tend to do. “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

Thinking about this makes me laugh at myself. Why do I fear man? Why do I care about what others think, whether Christian or not? Being considerate is good, but being controlled and consumed by man’s opinion isn’t. They may be able to offer accolades, money, some sort “comfort”. But it’s silly to forget that it is rather God’s opinion that matters. He sees everything done in public and in secret, and He will reward in His own sovereign way. He is my Father, and I do not need to be afraid of losing His favor because of Christ’s work on the cross. Therefore when I am trying to please men, tired of discouragements, or prideful of my popularity, I need to remember that I really am nothing before God and man’s opinion means nothing; I can turn to my Father Who loves me dearly though I do not deserve His love and give thanks to Him.

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

2010-04-02T17:02:00.000-07:00

He suffered in our stead, he saved his people thus;
The curse that fell upon his head, was due by right to us.
The storm that bowed his blessed head, is hushed for ever now
And rest Divine is mine instead, while glory crowns his brow.

every Sunday

2010-03-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

"Every day belongs to God. But Sunday is the Lord's day in a special way. Jesus has owned it uniquely ever since that first Easter when He stepped out of the empty tomb. Think of it. On that morning, for the first time, He had conquered death. He had atoned for our sin. He had made a way for us to come boldly into the presence of the Father. And every Sunday since has been an anniversary of that amazing morning. The Savior has risen - and everything has changed"
Stop dating the Church by Joshua Harris

from a letter...

2010-03-09T20:38:00.000-08:00

How is your heart doing today? You know what's amazing and scary to think about? God can hear the thoughts and inclinations of our hearts as if we were yelling at Him with a loudspeaker. He doesn't miss anything! Doesn't thinking about this make you want to run to Christ? As the thoughts and attitudes of your heart are tested, run to Christ, and remember that God looks upon you with favor because of Jesus.

i am loved

2010-02-20T00:48:00.000-08:00

We (the sisters) are loved by our brothers as they remind us of Christ's love.

I am loved by Becca :D as she shows me Christ's love for me.

I am loved by God

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

dear refuge of my weary soul

2010-02-13T23:52:00.000-08:00

1. Dear refuge of my weary soul,
On Thee, when sorrows rise
On Thee, when waves of trouble roll,
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief,
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief,
For every pain I feel

2. But oh! When gloomy doubts prevail,
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail,
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God, where shall I flee?
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust

3. Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face,
And shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of sovereign grace,
Be deaf when I complain?
No still the ear of sovereign grace,
Attends the mourner's prayer
Oh may I ever find access,
To breathe my sorrows there

4. Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet,
Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet

by Anne Steel

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Dear+Refuge+Of+My+Weary+Soul/ZdHwH

words

2010-02-10T17:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever realized that words are everywhere? When we think, we are thinking in terms of words. When we study, there are A LOT of words. When we read the Bible, pray, talk, use the computer there are a lot of words. How weighty are words?

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

I resolve to ask God for wisdom to speak out of a single-minded devotion to him (1:5).
I resolve to boast only in the exultation I receive in Jesus Christ and also in the humiliation I receive for Jesus Christ (1:9-10).
I resolve to set a watch over my mouth (1:13).
I resolve to be constantly quick to hear and slow to speak (1:19).
I resolve to learn the gospel way of speaking to both rich and poor (2:1-4).
I resolve to speak in the present consciousness of my final judgment (2:12).
I resolve never to stand on anyone’s face with the words I employ (2:16).
I resolve never to claim as reality in my life what I do not truly experience (3:14).
I resolve to resist quarrelsome words as evidence of a bad heart that needs to be mortified (4:1).
I resolve never to speak decided evil against another out of a heart of antagonism (4:11).
I resolve never to boast in any thing 'bout what I will accomplish (4:13).
I resolve to speak as one subject to the providences of God (4:15).
I resolve never to grumble. The judge is at the door (5:9).
I resolve never to allow anything but total integrity in everything I say (5:12).
I resolve to speak to God in prayer whenever I suffer (5:13).
I resolve to sing praises to God whenever I’m cheerful (5:14).
I resolve to ask for the prayers of others when I’m in need (5:14).
I resolve to confess it whenever I have failed (5:15).
I resolve to pray with others for one another whenever I am together with them (5:15).
I resolve to speak words of restoration when I see another wander (5:19).

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByConference/41/3258_The_Tongue_the_Bridle_and_the_Blessing_An_Exposition_of_James_3112/

"Let there be something of benevolence in all that I speak" (Jonathan Edwards resolution #70)

And yet when we stumble and fail and sin, we remember that God forgives us and there is freedom from sin. Christ paid the punishment for our words. Here Piper talks about our inadequacy to love perfectly, but "faith comes first" and the Gospel saves.

From Finally Alive by John Piper

At the beginning of the chapter he quotes 1 John 5:1-5

"Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and whoever loves the Father loves the child born of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. Who is the one who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?"

"... One of my aims here is to show that our ability to love others imperfectly is based on our assurance that in Christ we already love them perfectly. In other words, I want you to see for yourselves that, even when you fail to love as you ought, Christ's perfection stands before God in place of that failure. And I want you to see that faith in Christ, not love for people, is the way you enjoy that union with Christ. Therefore, faith must come first and be the root of love and be different from love. Otherwise, love will be destroyed.
If you don't come at love this way, your failures will probably overwhelm you with guilt and hopelessness. If that happens, you will give way either to hardworking legalism or fatalistic immorality."

God jealously desires our purity

2010-01-31T00:12:00.000-08:00

From The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis after Eustace became a dragon:

"The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I dont know if he said any words out loud or not.

I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and , instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I jsut stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.

But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.

Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.

Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - 'You will have to let me undress you.' I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was do deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.

Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phoney if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them.

After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me - (with his paws?) - Well, I don't exactly remember that bit. But he did somehow or other: in new clothes - the same I've got on now, as a matter of fact. and then suddenly I was back here. Which is what makes me think it must have been a dream."

Say to them, 'As I live!' declares the Lord GOD, 'I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live Turn back, turn back from your evil ways! Why then will you die, O house of Israel?'

Ezekiel 33:11

take each other seriously

2010-01-15T06:33:00.000-08:00

"The weight of glory, does not mean we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously." - C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

"apart from Me you can do nothing"

2009-12-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

John 15:4-5

Apart from Christ, we lack. And in 1 Corinthians 13:2, if I "do not have love, I am nothing". I tend to act based on my feelings even if I have been wronged or hurt by someone. But...

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account wronged suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

index finger

2009-12-06T21:29:00.000-08:00

I don't really care for animals but I must admit that Kom-Jee's pretty cute.

thankful

2009-11-28T19:59:00.000-08:00

One thing I'm thankful for is the Body of Christ. Thankful for our church in Berkeley, thankful for brethren elsewhere, thankful for those I do not know but prays for me, thankful to the Lord for answering prayers and allowing us to benefit greatly His grace through the brethren... yet I do not think I am thankful enough nor give thanks much...

Just because it was her birthday, I will say, particularly, I'm thankful for my sister, Christine. I am greatly encouraged and loved by her. I enjoy her presence, I am thankful for her reminders of the Gospel and other Truths, her desire to please the Lord, her perseverance in trials, her hugs. Although she is hundreds of miles away from me most of the year, she cares and prays for me. I'm thankful to the Lord for keeping this friendship even though He may take it away anytime. He allows me to still have this wonderful precious friendship.

forgetfulness

2009-11-20T15:14:00.000-08:00

Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments and His ordinances and His statues which I am commanding you today; otherwise, when you have eaten and are satisfied, and have built good houses and lived in them, and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and gold multiply, and all that you have multiplies, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God who brought you out from the land of Egypt, and out of the house of slavery.

Deuteronomy 8:11-14

Oh Lord, My Shepherd Be

2009-11-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

Oh Lord my Shepherd be

And besides still waters lead

And among green pastures make me lie

You are with me to the end

In the paths of righteousness

For the glory of Your name

Keep me safe, that I may know always

You are with me to the end

You are with me, you are with me

You are with me to the end

There's no other, friend and Savior

You are with me to the end

For when the shadows fall

And the night is closing in

You are here, no evil will I fear

You are with me to the end

the trees clap their hands

2009-10-27T23:12:00.000-07:00

Today was quite a windy day. I read this passage today too.

Isaiah 55

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
"For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
And do not return there without watering the earth
And making it bear and sprout,
And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;
So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.
"For you will go out with joy
And be led forth with peace;
The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you,
And all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

This is not Berkeley. I wish it were though.

Psalm 94:19

2009-10-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Your consolations delight my soul.

we groan

2009-10-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

yes, I know, I should be studying...

Anyway, I just wanted to write about the amazing power of the Holy Spirit that I often doubt. I often doubt in how my sins can be overcome in this sanctifying process. Sin can manifest itself and by the time I realize it, I ask how did I even get here and I don't even know how to change my mind about it. I hear pastors and teachers and friends saying, "Don't listen to yourself, talk to yourself." haha at the beginning I thought that was the same thing, but no... I didn't realize listening to myself is just basing things on my feelings and my feelings are often based off of myself and nothing concrete. Anything based apart from the Word is more than likely to be sin. I need to talk to myself with the Word and remind myself of the promises of the Lord and train the way I think. I thought I've train myself well enough, but it's so easy to slip and get into the desires of the flesh. It's a continual process of prayer and hard work.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" -Philippians 4:13.

When I see this happening through others, how they grow and overcome sins I did not believe they would be able to, it brings me the greatest joy. When I see professions of faith (like through baptism), I am extremely delighted. When I see the work of God in missions and how sovereign He is over nations I never cared about, I see why God still wants the believers to be on the earth. I guess I can have my extremes of wanting or not to live at times. I can think of these things and be excited about life... which is a good thing b/c usually I'm not. This can seem to be a driving force for me to live. And then there are times where I'm disgusted by the futility and boredom of the world and just wish heaven were here. I find it difficult to desire heaven for the fact of having perfect fellowship with the perfect person. Heaven without God is not heaven.

And even when I grow to desire heaven more because of God instead of just fellowship with believers I do not think I'll ever be fully satisfied on earth. When I am happy in the Lord and thankful for the salvation He has provided for me, I will not be satisfied because I am still here on earth and my body will groan to be where He is.

"And not only this, but we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body." Romans 8:23 We groan within ourselves because although we know we have been adopted, we must await the redemption of our bodies, which is when we shall be like Christ. Only then will our adoption be complete." (MacArthur)

Actually I do not know what my point of writing this was, but I've come to the conclusion that even if I think correctly about the Lord and that to live is Christ, I will not be completely satisfied because we were not created for separation and we are just waiting for the day that we will see the Lord face-to-face.

worship

2009-09-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

Worship is worth-ship, giving worth to something. (I like this quote also b/c it reminds me that it's ok that I do not sing well =P )

"God is worthy of our highest, purest, and strongest emotions."

"The question is not, "Do you have a voice?" The question is, "Do you have a song?" If you're redeemed by Christ's cross then you do have a song." - Bob Kauflin

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByConference/41/3260_Words_of_Wonder_What_Happens_When_We_Sing/

my time is not mine, it is the Lord's

2009-09-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Paul here is speaking of purity, but it applies also to how we are whether it involves in this context sexual sins or not. Our time is not ours, it is His.

A great series CJ Mahaney had on his website.

webcam fun

2009-09-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

Love

2009-09-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

Valley of Vision

LORD JESUS,

Give me to love thee, to embrace thee,

though I once took lust and sin in my arms

Thou didst love me before I loved thee,

an enemy, a sinner, a loathsome worm.

Thou didst own me when I disclaimed myself;

Thou dost love me as a son,

and weep over me as over Jerusalem.

Love brought thee from heaven to earth

from earth to the cross,

from the cross to the grave.

Love caused thee to be weary, hungry, tempted,

scorned, scourged, buffeted, spat upon, crucified, and pierced.

Love led thee to bow thy head in death.

My salvation is the point where perfect created love

and the most perfect uncreated love meet together;

For thou dost welcome me, not like Joseph and his brothers,

loving and sorrowing, but loving and rejoicing.

Thy love is not intermittent, cold, changeable;

it does not cease or abate for all my enmity.

Holiness is a spark from thy love

kindled to a flame in my heart by thy Spirit

and so it ever turns to the place from which it comes.

Let me see thy love everywhere, not only in the cross,

but in the fellowship of believers and in the world around me.

When I feel the warmth of the sun may I praise thee

who art the Sun of righteousness with healing power.

When I feel the tender rain

may I think of the gospel showers that water my soul.

When I walk by the river side

may I praise thee for that stream that makes the eternal city glad,

and washes white my robes that I may have the right to the tree of life.

Thy infinite love is a mystery of mysteries,

and my eternal rest lies in the eternal enjoyment of it.

Psalm 23

2009-09-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

"The Lord is my shepherd": that's relationship.

"I shall not want": that's supply.

"He makes me to lie down in green pastures": that's rest.

"He leads me beside still waters": that's refreshment.

"He guides me in the paths of righteousness": that's guidance.

"For his name's sake": that's purpose.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death": that's testing.

"I will fear no evil": that's protection.

"For you are with me": that's faithfulness.

"Your rod and your staff, they comfort me": that's discipline.

"You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies": that's hope.

"You anoint my head with oil": that's consecration.

"My cup overflows": that's abundance.

"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life": that's blessing.

"And I will dwell in the house of the Lord": that's security.

"Forever": that's eternity.

i forgot what source this is from. but i didn't write it

Yosemite

a glimpse of heaven

2009-08-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

Last week through the encouragement of friends, I was blessed. Birthdays are always so great to give. I enjoy seeing the excitement and blessing others... (possibly caking them too =D). But when it comes to my birthday I sometimes don't like it because I feel I get too self-conscious and self-consumed. I would expect people to treat me better or something. But a birthday is just a day I still do not deserve. I used to fear that I'd get bitter that after the day is over people would not treat me the same as that day. I felt people may have treated me better just because they may have felt obligated. But I see that's not necessarily true. I enjoy making people special on their birthdays for who they are not because I'm obligated. In any case, that isn't my point for this entry. I was blessed by people who reminded me to look to the Lord. I think those are the best birthday gifts - to be encouraged to not think about myself but how good God is.

I understood better what storing up treasures in heaven meant

Matthew 6:19-21: Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break or stea; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I wasn't really appealed to the idea of storing up treasures in heaven. I just knew that Christ alone saves me and I am to be obedient because our goal in life is to glorify Him. Yet, I do not think I thought about glorify God with much joy. However someone shared with me Galatians 4:1-7. God calls us sons and we are able to call Him Abba Father. There is an intimacy with God that we have access to! Our growth/sanctification and obedience does not save us but it does draw us nearer to the Lord and when we are in heaven we will be even closer to Him. People will not have equal intimacy with the Lord, but based by our faithfulness on earth, we will have our rewards in heaven. Before when I thought about rewards I thought of gold and material gain... and maybe God will give us materials, but moreso our greatest treasure is the Lord Himself. So when we sin it isn't just a sin and oops... but we offend God and it hinders our relationship with him. This life is so short compared to eternity. I'm glad that our knowing God does not stop here on earth but in heaven forever!

So sanctification and being obedient has no longer been a duty of a christian life but I hope a great joy and privilege. (Though I am not there yet. Philippians 3)

oh i broke the cake knife

photos courtesy of Eunice

"that to you is sin"

2009-08-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

Whatever weakens your reason, whatever impairs the tenderness of your conscience, whatever obscures your sense of God, whatever increases the authority of your body over your mind, whatever takes away from your relish for spiritual things, that to you is sin, no matter how innocent it is in itself.

- Susanna Wesley

my clone

2009-07-27T17:48:00.001-07:00

lotsa lotsa love

2009-07-16T20:21:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it's been two years since Joni and Friends Family retreat. It's always a highlight of the summer.

What is Joni and Friends?! A wonderful ministry for the disabled and their families. The family retreats held nationwide over summer are great! Arthur says minsitry comes with time. And through this I see it so true. Seeing the kids grow and the parents persevering and rejoicing is amazing... and we get to see it. This thing can be done by many people, but the center of it is Christ. That is the biggest difference and a great difference. The families' hope lies upon Christ. And if it doesn't then we can tell them about Him! =) Excited for next week!

forgiveness (and some webcamming!)

2009-07-10T16:26:00.000-07:00

I read this a while back but this article stayed stuck in my head:

In Pleasing People Priolo portrays the heart of forgiveness as being a promise. Here is what he says: "Forgiveness is fundamentally a promise. As God promises to not hold our sins against us, so we also must promise not to hold the sins of those we've forgiven against them." This is, of course, the foundation of the forgiveness God promises to us: that He will never hold our sins against us. On the day of judgment we know that He will not suddenly charge us with sins that have been forgiven us through the blood of Jesus. We have faith in God and trust in this promise. Without this promise our faith is hopeless. Praise God that he offers us this manner of forgiveness!

The promise of forgiveness, says Priolo, can be broken into three parts. First, you promise not to bring up the offense to the forgiven person so as to use it against him. Second, you promise not to discuss with others the sin you have forgiven. Third, you promise not to dwell on the forgiven offense but to remind yourself that you have forgiven the offender in the same way that God has forgiven you for a multitude of far greater sins. Thus when you ask forgiveness you secure these promises for yourself.

The point about not bringing up a sin I have forgiven against them made me realize that I cannot do that explicitly or in my head either. I think if not bitterness for sure would be built up. It hurts the relationship. well... just read the article! =)

Totally not related but yay for webcams!

Christine all the way from cambridge =O

doesn't she look like she's a little wacko? =P

saw junia try this. didn't really work b/c of the gap.

mustache

2009-07-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

nathaniel ={)

long beach aquarium

2009-06-26T17:58:00.000-07:00

finding the real Nemo

this is how i feel summer is

sea otter spinning... watch at the end how he scrubs his head

"Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created."

Revelations 4:11

seven years

2009-06-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

On June 23, 2002 I was baptised... praise the Lord for His grace and that He has sustained me. Although that probably wasn't the exact date I was saved, praise the Lord with me! =D

Praise Him that He has changed a wretched sinner and regenerated my heart. I do not deserve His love. Praise Him that He is sanctifying me to be more holy for He is holy.

the great outdoors

2009-06-19T15:39:00.001-07:00

while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

2009-06-11T18:55:00.000-07:00

a bookmark from our wonderful class brothers

"i wish"

2009-06-04T18:01:00.001-07:00

Just something I've been learning...

"I wish it were 5 hours from now" I would say when I have a piano test in the next couple hours

"I wish it were last week" I would say when I was at Disneyland or a retreat the week before

"I wish it were winter break" I would say when fall semester begins

"I cannot wait for tomorrow to be over!" I would say when I have a final the next morning

discontentment written all over. I was told that I say "I wish" and "I cannot wait" frequently, so I've been trying to say "I am looking forward to" and if I cannot replace "I wish" with that then something's pretty wrong with my thinking. Such as if I say "I wish it were the past"... I'm living too much in the past. If I say"I wish this weren't happening to me" I'm probably not trusting in the Lord.

But things like "I wish it were end of the semester" can be replaced with "I am looking forward to semester being over" and then it causes me to ask why instead of just simply being grumpy and wishing for things. Although "I am looking forward to" has similar meaning to "I wish" I think the attitude is different. Maybe it's less of a complaint but more of just eagerness.

If you have other thoughts or something added to this that is Biblical let me know! B/c I'm just learning and if I'm not learning directly from the Bible there can be great error. Btw, if I tell you about this, I just want to maybe help you because I'm more aware of it when people say "I wish" and "I cannot wait" and if it just seems not applicable... then ignore me. haha.

(also you can keep me accountable to this. when i'm convicted of little habits like this i can easily go back b/c my conviction was good in that it's a good habit to have but bad in that my heart wasn't fully doing it for the right reason)

anyway I'm starting to like yogurt... yogurtland yogurt that is (but not a fanatic about it)

sail boats

2009-05-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

view near ghiradelli 05.22.09

better size

one Body

2009-05-27T12:16:00.001-07:00

in a few minutes ill be heading out to go home for maybe 2-3 months. such a strange feeling... seeing taiwan team leaving and soon others will be leaving as well for various stuff. but praise the Lord for one Body. i met up with a friend this week who goes to a different church and we were able to share our struggles and praises. different churches does not mean anything as long as we are loved by and loving the same God.

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.

- Ephesians 4:4-6

the love of Christ controls us

2009-05-24T00:23:00.000-07:00

I often seek to limit "loving" people according to how much I am loved by them. Why? Would I feel pathetic for loving someone more than they love me?

I don't know how God does it...

Why do I not love according to how much I am loved by God period...

For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died

-2 Cointhians 5:14

let's play and eat!

2009-05-24T00:11:00.000-07:00

ugly doll

2009-05-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

have you seen an ugly doll?

here are store bought ones

here are some home made ones...

and here is mine. I call it the squid.

yes i know he's ugly... like really ugly. someone said he looks like stitch...

blessings

2009-05-09T01:29:00.000-07:00

class plus cfg servants minus a few.

stay close to the True Vine (Christ) and we will be close to one another. take care of the depth and He'll take care of the breadth... (even/especially when things don't go our way/don't make sense)

power of God

2009-05-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

sun

2009-04-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

picture taken from the golden gate bridge from last year's SF biking trip. =]

"I want to glorify God with my life"

2009-04-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

Consider this statement: I want to glorify God with my life.

It is Biblical in that our lives are to glorify God. However, when I say this statement am I focusing on the I and the my? Am I more concerned on what I'm doing than on the One receiving the glory? When we give a gift to someone we enjoy being with, our minds and hearts are on the person... not on ourselves. But I think when I think about my life and my plans... even though I know God is to be glorified... my focus is way to often how I make my steps rather than trusting in the Lord and fixing my eyes upon Him... (and His glory... not my own whether it's religious or not...) being more concerned about Him and how my life is is not my own. Does that make sense?

I can do the same stuff whether the statement is on myself or the Lord... but it's the heart that counts. Plus we know that life is much easier in a sense when we fully and joyfully live for Him without being too concerned about if things go our way. We're just too stubborn to do it.

(I'm inarticulate in expressing my thoughts. This may have been incomprehensive. sorry.)

yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom are all things and we exist for Him; and one Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we exist through Him.

1 Corinthians 8:6

shake shake shake

2009-04-16T11:51:00.000-07:00

one day i was webcamming with Eunice and i decided to show her this little toy that belongs to my roommate. it spins in a circle as if it were doing the holla hoop. =P

washing

2009-04-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

wash one another's feet realization:

Although I emphasized that washing the feet (serving/loving/being humbled towards) of younger Christians or easy to be prideful over ones can be difficult sometimes, doing the same to those who are more mature, godly, older... those whom we respect is difficult too. We feel unworthy to do such a thing becuase they serve us in different ways and we know they love us, but we are just afraid to disappoint them. Christ is our example as He served His Father. His mind was always on the Father. He loved and loves Him. We are not like Christ in that we cannot do this by our strength and by merely doing it just because it is right but by His strength and by our desire to glorify God. Pray that we (I) would serve our Lord by washing the feet of those who are older, younger, same age, immature, more mature, we are prideful over, who we are ashamed to disappoint etc.

"The Word of Contentment" chapter 7 of The Seven Sayings of the Saviour on the Cross by Arthur Pink

"Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit"

And how blessed it is that his Father is our Father! Ours because his. How wonderful this is! How unspeakably precious that I can look up to the great and living God and say, "Father," my Father! What comfort is contained in this title! What assurance is conveyed! God is my Father, then he loves me, loves me as he loves Christ himself! (John 17:23). God is my Father and loves me, then he careth for me. God is my Father and careth for me, then he will "supply all my need" (Phil. 4:19). God is my Father, then he will see to it that no harm shall betide me, yea, that all things shall be made to work together for my good. O that his children entered more deeply and practically into the blessedness of this relationship, then would they joyfully exclaim with the apostle, "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God" (1 John 3:1)!

picture of the week:

wash one another's feet

2009-04-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

^{Respecting and doing things for older and people we respect is easy. We were trained since we were born to obey our parents and our teachers. And then we teach those who are younger than us and discipline them. We do have to be patient and sacrifice for them. I'm not a parent yet so I don't know exactly what it is to sacrifice for a kid. But it doesn't matter whether I'm a parent now or not, God commands us to serve one another whether they are more mature or less or our mentor or mentee etc. Christ who is the king washed the disciple's feet with his own towel on himself. We already know this but it's difficult to be humble and serve those younger than us and put them above us. Think of them more highly, more important, to put them first. Christ could have just commanded us, but He literally washed the feet Himself. He walked on this earth to serve.
John 13
⁵Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. ... ¹⁴"If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. ¹⁵"For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.

pictures of the week
ahh kids are so cute!}

p.o.w. s p r i n g

2009-03-26T20:29:00.001-07:00

What's a better way to begin spring than with a birthday picnic and hike (and food =P)?

happy birthday eunice!

"But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does."

-James 1:25

picture of the week (p.o.w.) - nice day. nice breakfast. nice people.

2009-03-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

in front of doe library. notice the random yoga mat on the left.

2009-03-16T14:23:00.001-07:00

why is it when i have to study i procrastinate even more?

anyways going home in less than a week!

Jesus My Glory

2009-03-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

O Lord God,

Thou hast commanded me to believe in Jesus;

and I would flee to no other refuge,

wash in no other fountain,

build on no other foundation,

receive from no other fullness,

rest in no other relief.

His water and blood were not severed in their flow at the cross,

may they never be separated in my creed and experiences;

May I be equally convinced of the guilt and pollution of sin,

feel my need of a prince and saviour,

implore of him repentance as well as forgiveness,

love holiness, and be pure in heart,

have the mind of Jesus, and tread in his steps.

Let me not be at my own disposal,

but rejoice that I am under the care of one

who is too wise to err,

too kind to injure,

too tender to crush.

May I scandalize none by my temper and conduct, but

recommend and endear Christ to all around,

bestow good on every one as circumstances permit,

and decline no opportunity of usefulness.

Grant that I may value my substance,

not as the medium of pride and luxury,

but as the means of my support and stewardship.

Help me to guide my affections with discretion,

to owe no man anything,

to be able to give to him that needeth,

to feel it my duty and pleasure to be merciful and forgiving,

to show to the world the likeness of Jesus.

Valley of Vision

picture of the week:

cuties =]

picture of the week

2009-03-06T23:54:00.001-08:00

I may try something new where I post a picture a week. (though I don't take pics often so probably post old pictures most of the time?)

Melody, Sarah, Jenny, Tammy. house dinner.